Thursday, May 31, 2012

Why Oh Why

      
      When I was 12 years old my mother married my stepfather and moved us to this po-dunk town.  Together they have seven children, I have four step-siblings, a brother, and a half-sister.  There are three siblings older than I am. Recently, my stepsister ( a self-proclaimed lesbian) had a mixed- half black/half white- son.  Now all throughout my college days my mother, father, and grandparents begged me not to bring a black man home, though I was interested in a few.  Respecting their wishes and afraid that he would be rejected at family outings, I never dated "outside my race" (by the way that is the stupidest quote ever). 
        My kid brother is blind and they are very accepting of his black girlfriend.  They claim that he doesn't see color.  My argument of I see people not color seems to be invalid.  Now, my cousin Courtney who just turned 18 brought a black man to her senior prom.  My granna called me on the phone to say " All these years I prayed you would never bring a black man home Whit, and you didn't.... but I never did pray for Courtney or any of the rest." Keep in mind that I am the oldest grandchild on that side of the family. 
    My question is, when did the rules change? How do you pick who the rules apply too? Though I am extremely happy with my 'white' boyfriend, I have been attracted to many black men and find this ridiculously unfair.   While trying to be the mature adult and question my mother about the 'why's' that I have in my head, I simply want to act like a jealous fourteen year old and stomp around ranting and raving about how life is unfair.  Do we ever get over that teenage angst? 


Huge Virtual Hugs, and Grownup Temper Tantrums, 
                                                        Whitney

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